


Argumentative

by IncendiaGlacies



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:35:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27741616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncendiaGlacies/pseuds/IncendiaGlacies
Summary: Five times Gideon and John have an argument and get in a fight and one time they don't (sort of)
Relationships: Gideon/Rip Hunter, John Constantine & Gideon
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	Argumentative

1.

Rip walked back on board to find chaos on his ship. Which, would have been the norm, except the Legends had all moved out a while ago. It was just him and Gideon now for the most part with the occasional houseguest. A houseguest who was now screaming at his partner and best friend.

“You did that on purpose, shrew!” Constantine yelled at the ceiling, clutching his hand.

“Of course I did,” Gideon replied flippantly. “And I’d do it again.”

Rip cleared his throat, finally noticing Jax on the ground fixing Gideon’s console while glaring at the wizard. “What did I miss?”

“Your bloody computer tried to kill me, mate.”

“Gideon, is this true?”

“If one tiny shock hurts him clearly he’s not fit to help on our mission.”

“Gideon,” Rip felt a headache coming on, “what counts as a tiny shock to you?”

She was quiet for a moment. “It was less than the threshold of what it would take to kill a human. And he’s fine, see?”

“Gideon-”

“He turned me off!”

Rip rounded on John. “You did what?”

“I just wanted some privacy! She has cameras everywhere.”

“Perhaps you should just stop walking around my ship naked then!” Gideon screeched at him.

“Our ship,” Rip muttered under his breath, wondering at what point she would forgive him for the whole Mallus incident. Honestly, water under the bridge.

“It’s gonna take me another hour to fix her up,” Jax finally spoke up. “You did a real number on her.”

“I thought you said you only turned her off?” Rip demanded.

Constantine shrugged. “I couldn’t find the off button.”

Rip grinded his teeth. “So you mutilated her?”

“I didn’t know any better. All I know is she wouldn’t shut up!”

“New rule: you don’t walk around the ship naked and you don’t touch Gideon’s wires ever!”

“Hey, what are her consequences for trying to electrocute me?” Constantine waved his burned hand.

Rip shrugged. “See if the medbay is operating. Otherwise, you’ve got magic.”

“That’s it?”

“Be grateful it wasn’t worse. Honestly, you got off easy.”

Constantine grumbled under his breath and left the bridge, headed for the medbay. Rip sighed and bent down over the console.

“Let me help,” he said.

“I got it,” Jax said curtly.

“Mr. Jackson, you don’t even live here. How did you know-”

“I was able to send a distress signal to Mr. Jackson shortly before my circuits fried,” Gideon explained.

Rip frowned, feeling a pang in his heart. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“I did. You didn’t pick up.”

He pulled out his pager and saw the Waverider had pinged him multiple times. Rip cursed under his breath for leaving it on silent. He had wrongly assumed Gideon wouldn’t be in danger with Constantine on board. “Gideon, I’m sorry, I-”

“You were otherwise occupied. I understand.”

“Gideon,” Rip pleaded with her.

“Mr. Jackson has my repairs covered. Please see to Mr. Constantine in the medbay.”

“I do care about you.”

“You could try and make it more obvious. Medbay please.”

Seeing the look on Jax’s face, Rip knew he was outnumbered and dragged his feet to the medbay.

Jax shook his head and patted the console. “Idiots. I don’t know how you do it, Gideon.”

“Neither do I.”

* * *

2.

Rip was reading a book quietly in his parlour when he was suddenly drenched with water. “What the hell?” he hissed, suddenly coughing under the rainstorm. “Gideon, are you malfunctioning?”

“I don’t malfunction. There was a fire. I put it out.”

“You had to deluge the entire ship?” he asked, standing up and out of the rain. There was no point in trying to avoid the water, Gideon had opened up every single sprinkler. With a huff he began walking to the bridge. “Better not have drenched my bed.”

“I had to put out the fire.”

“And where was this fire?” he asked, not quite believing her.

“Cargo bay.”

He walked through the flooding hallways. “And the fire hasn’t been put out yet?”

“There’s always a chance of it restarting.”

Rip opened up the cargo bay and found Constantine, sitting atop one of the boxes with a wet cigarette in hand.

“I think she’s trying to drown me,” he said bluntly.

“You and me both,” Rip muttered. “Gideon?”

“I told him not to smoke on my ship. He tried to smoke.”

“Can you stop with the sprinklers now?”

“Will he stop smoking and follow a basic order?”

“I don’t take orders from a computer, love,” said Constantine.

The sprinklers stopped and there was silence. Rip hissed under his breath. How did the man turn a bad thing into terrible?

Rip grabbed the cigarette from his fingers and threw it into the wastebasket. “Gideon is not just some computer, we’ve been over this. If you are going to stay on this ship, then you have to respect her and listen to her and yes, take her orders.”

“Thought you were the Captain now?”

“Only when Gideon lets me be,” Rip replied in kind. “And this is her home. I won’t have her endangered in the one place she’s meant to be safe.” If it was between Constantine and Gideon, Gideon would win every time. He hoped she knew that.

“Fine. I won’t smoke on the ship. Happy?”

“And you owe her an apology.”

Constantine sighed dramatically. “Fine, Gideon, sweetheart. I’m sorry. Okay?”

“Noted,” she said tersely. “But next time he’s going out the airlock.”

Rip sighed. Hardly good enough but it would have to do for now. “Hold onto something. I’m going to start the protocol for getting rid of all the water in here.”

* * *

3.

Gideon woke with a gasp, immediately knowing something was off. Something was wrong. Her vision cleared and she saw John Constantine of all people. Slowly, the events of the day came back to her.

“Where’s Rip?” she croaked. What was wrong with her voice.

“You’re awake, good. That’s good.” He stood up and walked to the screen.

Gideon didn’t understand, this wasn’t her usual perspective of the medbay. What was she…her heartbeat spiked – she had a heart! – and she thrashed. “Where am I? What happened? Where’s Rip? Where’s Rip?!”

“Hey! Hey!” Constantine grabbed her arms and held her down as best he could. “Gideon, Gideon you need to calm down! I don’t know how all this stuff works but I know that you panicking is not helping. Calm down!”

“Tell me where Rip is!”

“I don’t know, okay? I don’t know. But we’ll find him, yeah? You and me. We’ll find him.”

Tears sprang to Gideon’s eyes already. “No, no, he promised – he promised me he wouldn’t leave again.”

“Gideon, love, it wasn’t his choice.”

“And what the hell were you doing?” she hissed at him. “Why is he gone and you’re here?” It should have been the other way around.

“I was doing as I was told. Protecting you the only way I knew how.”

Gideon looked down at her body. “You made me human?”

“It was the only way to save you.”

“I never wanted this.” Humans were weak, emotional, fallible. “You should have saved him.”

“I did what I was told. I saved you and now you and me are gonna find him. Soon as you’re better.”

Gideon scoffed and looked away. “It should have been you. I wish it were you instead,” she whispered.

“Yeah, I know you do.”

* * *

4.

Rip had no words when he walked into the galley. Gideon and Constantine were both covered in food, though the latter had it worse. He sighed and picked a hissing and screaming Gideon off Constantine. She struggled in his grasp at first, almost slipping away, covered in whipped cream as she was, before she realized it was Rip.

“Care to explain?” he asked, hoping it would be worth ruining his own clothes helping her out.

“He ate the last piece of chocolate cake.”

“It didn’t have your name or anything!” Constantine argued as he tried to get off the ground. Gideon had clearly injured him somehow, given his groaning and her satisfied smirk.

“It was mine!”

“Gideon, Gideon, surely you could have just fabricated another one?” Rip asked tiredly.

Gideon gave him an owlish look. “Are you defending him?”

“No?” he asked weakly.

“I am the wronged one here!”

“It was just cake,” Constantine said.

Gideon tried to kick him but Rip pulled her away. “Chocolate cake! My chocolate cake! And you took it because you knew it was mine! You want to take everything from me!”

“What are you on about?”

“Gideon,” Rip said softly, “it was an accident, okay? Just this once, I’m fairly certain John didn’t mean it.”

“You are defending him! Why are you defending him?” Gideon asked, crying at the thought.

“Because maybe you did overreact a little bit?” he said gently.

“I didn’t overreact!”

“Gideon, John’s on the floor covered in chocolate and caramel and you’re just as bad and I won’t even start on the state of the galley. Is this really worth going to war over, hmm?”

Gideon chewed her lip. “I’m not apologizing to him.”

“I would expect nothing less from you,” Rip said. It was hard enough to get her to admit she was in the wrong. He kissed the top of her head. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up?”

“Oh, can we shower together?”

“Fine.”

“Can I join too?” Constantine asked with a saucy wink.

Gideon lunged for him again and Rip barely held on to her as she thrashed in his arms. “I’m going to kill him!”

One of these days, Rip thought she might succeed.

* * *

5.

“Come on, let’s go again.” Constantine offered Gideon a hand up but she slapped it away. She breathed heavily, covered in sweat and groaned.

“When you gave me an opportunity to punch you, I thought I’d enjoy myself more,” she muttered. Gideon hadn’t been able to land a single hit the entire training session.

Constantine chuckled. “Thought you agreed rather quickly. Come on, let’s go again.”

“I’m exhausted. What’s the point of this anyway?”

“Point of this is that you’re small, newly human, and need basic self defense skills. Rip is worried every single time we go out for you and do you really need that to throw him off his game?”

“Ah, so it is for Rip. It always is.”

Constantine sighed and kneeled over her prone body. “Get up. Let’s go again. I’ll go easy on you.”

“You’re smug and I hate you.”

“I know you do.”

He pulled her to her feet and got her stance ready. Gideon threw a few punches which he easily dodged. Within a few seconds he had her pinned again, her back to his front as she struggled to pull free a good foot off the ground.

“You need to stay vigilant, Gideon.”

“What demon is going to go into hand-to-hand combat with me? They’ll have me dead before we even get this far!”

“You need to actually try. This is serious. If you’re out there unable to look after yourself then – OW!”

Gideon bit his hand and he shrieked, dropping her to the ground and allowing her enough time to throw a punch to his face. She aimed for his nose and missed, hitting his cheek instead.

“Bloody hell!” John yelled.

“I think you broke my hand,” Gideon accused, waving it about.

“Your hand?! You bit me! That’s not in the rules.”

“There are no rules to survival!”

“You cheat. You fight dirty-”

“You were annoying me!”

A grave sigh interrupted them and they both looked to find Rip standing in the doorway. He walked over and checked over Gideon’s bruising hand and took one look at the state of John and clucked at them.

“Come on. Medbay, the both of you. Again.”

* * *

+1.

“He’s an idiot.”

John blinked his eyes open and turned his head to the sound of the irritated woman. “I’m awake now,” he groaned. Rip stood up and check his vitals while Gideon glared at him.

“Good. Then you should know that you’re a stupid idiot!”

“Is that really how you’re going to talk to the man who saved your life?”

“It’s how I talk to idiots. Idiot.”

“Gideon, why don’t you get him some water?” Rip asked her softly, kissing her cheek. Gideon sighed and looked from John to Rip and nodded.

“Fine. But I still think what he did was stupid and reckless and idiotic and yes, I have made an entire PowerPoint presentation about it and we will be reviewing it later.”

“Yes, dear.”

She kissed Rip again and left the medbay. Rip sighed and took a seat next to John’s bedside again.

“She’s cheery to see me. Some thank you.”

“Gideon isn’t in the practice of saying thanks or sorry.”

“Especially not with people she hates,” John groaned.

Rip smiled a little. “She doesn’t hate you.”

“Mate, are you forgetting the past? All the times she’s threatened to float me? Take away the oxygen in my room? She locked me in my quarters for two days once.”

“For me it was a week,” Rip said easily. “Think of it as an initiation.”

“Trial by fire?”

Rip shrugged. “I think she’s just tired of losing people. Easier to scare them off than be hurt again.”

John hummed, that was something he could understand. “So, she’s not going to try to kill me anymore?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t go that far.” Just last week Gideon had threatened Rip with a knife if he touched her sweets again. “But I wouldn’t look at it as murderous threats anymore.”

“What would you say it is?”

“Affection.”


End file.
